Saturday, November 20, 2010

The "Secret" is out..Downsizing is in!

If you haven't read Rhonda Byrne's book The Secret, you've probably heard about it on one or two daytime talk shows. How it promotes following the natural laws of attractions, i.e. "like attracts like," to get what you want. Making a vision board of your dream house/man/job and asking The Universe to bring it into your life. The book is filled with testimonials of people for whom this theory has worked. After reading it (upon the recommendation of my therapist), I'm pretty sure that it's a load of New Age bollocks. And you know the exact page where the author lost me? Proclaiming that she maintained a weight of 116 pounds by merely "not thinking fat thoughts." Really? Seriously? 'Cause I think it might have something to do with diet and exercise, you skinny bitch! Wait, that's the low blood sugar talking; let me grab another fun size Three Musketeers...

But I'll confess I was at the point where I'm willing to try anything to change my outlook. Because these days, the outlook is pretty bleak. I'm still out of work, have no job prospects, can't even get interviews, and just paid the last mortgage payment that I can afford. I spent the better part of an afternoon at Social Services to be told that I can't qualify for Medicaid but I might qualify for food stamps. So this is me at rock bottom. Terrified to spend a single dollar on anything that isn't absolutely essential. Picking out which pieces of furniture I can take or leave from the condo that I bought three years ago, because I'll likely be moving back in with my parents next month. And Christmas? Well, I'm very tempted to just skip it this year. Hey, I've become an agnostic!

I guess I have to focus on what I do have at this point and being grateful for it and believing in my heart that life can be good again. Much like the family on WeTV's Downsized, I have to accept that this is the new reality. I can't have a pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks but I can have an apple cider at home. I can't go to a gym and work out three times a week but I can walk on the treadmill. I've just spent so much time being angry at other people or myself or Congress or the world in general, and it's exhausting. I'll still be jealous of my friends when they post about the cool things they've bought or the places they're going, I can't help it. I had this notion that if I studied hard and I made good grades in school, life would always be good. But that's not true. Bad things happen to good people. Good people make bad decisions. I suppose I'm now paying for those decisions. In spades.

For me, "The Secret" is to be content with living in the moment. I don't know what the future holds and I've spent way too many hours regretting the past. Right now, I just need to be where I'm at, as Sean of "Galactic Watercooler" podcast so eloquently said. And at least where I'm at has pumpkin pie. Enjoy your Thanksgiving holiday and let your loved ones know that they are loved.

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