Sunday, January 3, 2010

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough...

...and doggoneit, I'm worth it.

In the words of Senator Al Franken when he was not a senator, this is going to be my year of change. I realize that I say that every year, and manage to follow through on it for about two or three weeks. But this time I mean it. And I'm hoping for support along the way because I'm really bad at asking for help even when I desperately need it. The perils of being a stoic Irish introvert.

So let's start with the blog title. I'm thinking of taking more of a Bridget Jones-esque look at things. Don't get me wrong, I'll still be snarky and cynical when the situation calls for it, as many situations these days do. But I'd rather put more positivity out into the ether than my usual resigned pessimism. I mean, who is that helping? Apart from the news media.

Second point: I resolve to make regular use of my YMCA membership, even though it's intimidating to be there and I always feel like I'm in someone else's way. Zumba is fun, despite my lack of coordination, and I want to get my arms tank top-ready in time for the Galactic Watercooler meetup in March. I've also signed up for a 5K training course so that I can participate in the Race for the Cure in May. Cancer has touched many, many women among my family and friends, and it's a cause that I strongly believe in supporting.

Point the Third: I'm going to conquer my fears and do things that scare me. I'm not talking skydiving or holding a tarantula -- no, no, no. Are you insane?! I'm talking small things, like going to parties or cooking seafood or meeting up with a guy from I've been reading Julie Hadden's book (she was a contestant on The Biggest Loser) and she talks about not having the strength or courage to do things for so many years because she was overweight. Letting the extra pounds and lack of self-confidence hold her back from being the best version of herself. Now, my self-worth meter has bever been high. When you're called "ugly" to your face everyday of fourth grade by a table of older boys who cackle gleefully while you cringe and pray that the earth will open and swallow you whole...well, that sort of thing tends to stick with you. Especially when there's very little evidence to the contrary. Even now when I look in a mirror or see a photo of myself, all I see is that big nose, those dark circles under my eyes, that complexion that will never be clear no matter how many different cleansers/toners/exfoliants I use, those hips as wide as the open range, etc.

Anyway, you get the picture. I'm not a supermodel and never will be, and that's okay. Because there are other good qualities that God gave me, and taking full advantage of those is what will allow me to bless the people in my life. Although I will continue to spend far too much of my wages on lip gloss -- it's an addiction, I know.

Fourthly, I want to find a job that I love. There are many good things about my current job, but customer service is not what I was meant to do. I think my co-workers, supervisor, and customers would agree without hesitation. I don't work well with people, but I do work well with data. And I work really well with audio-visual data. So I'm hoping to go back to my first degree and learn the ins and outs of editing. I'm sure the software has advanced alot since I was in school, but I have friends and friends of friends in the broadcasting field so I'll be doing the whole networking thing. Movies and TV, it's what I've always loved but was too scared to truly pursue it. We all know that no job is safe in our economy so why not make a career out of one's passion? It might even get me to Austin one day.

Because I'm worth it. And because I don't do well with wind chills in the teens. Oh-Em-Gee, is it cold in here! Time to crank up the thermostat.

1 comment:

  1. And I resolve to actually get to America, and actually visit each state, and eat some kind of different food in each state (my palate is...I don't have a palate...I have a petri dish...which I put in my mouth and broke)and pay a visit to my favourite stoic Irish-American introvert. And possibly steal from her. Or hug her. While stealing from her.

    Ah, the hug-steal-wallet move. There's a reason it's a classic.